WISDOM FROM MY HEART
By Salini Teri Apodaca
I listened to my heart today, and asked what she was feeling.
“Broken”, she replied, “and waiting for the healing to come.”
What can I do I asked her?
“Love me. Make a pathway for love to come and go from inside me so I might feel the love around me and within you.”
How do I do that I asked my heart?
“You must surrender your fear of being hurt, lay down your guard, tear down your fences and let the energy flow in.” my heart answered.
What if no one loves me and I stand alone, naked and vulnerable?
“You are never alone.” Spoke my heart. “I am always with you, loving you.”
But who are you I queried my heart? I don’t really know you.
“And therein lies the problem. If you let yourself know me, you would know that I am always creating love for you.”
Aren’t you just a muscle? A part of my body?
“No, I am your soul, your soul that is connected to the Universe. I bring you the energy of Spirit to sustain you, guide you, heal you, nurture you.”
What do you look like?
“Like the stars in the sky, the shimmering water in the river, the sand on the beach, the birds in the trees, the babe in your arms, and the Mother who holds you and loves you always.”
Why can’t I see you?
“Because you don’t love yourself.”
What can I do to change that?
“Sit still with me long, quietly and patiently. I will come to you then. Tell me when you feel my presence.”
I sat still in the meadow under a tree, near a brook one day. I tried to find my heart. Then I heard it….
“Chirp, chirp, chirp…….trickle, trickle…..sshhhhsshhh……”
Soon I stopped trying and just sat. And I listened. And I felt. I just was……
Then, softly and sweetly, I began to feel……..and then came the tears, rolling so slowly down my cheeks. Then I heard something.
“Feel me now?”
I felt my heart leap. The sound of a cricket’s chirp synchronized with my heartbeat. The brook rippling in unison with my pulsing blood. The wind slipping past my ears matched my breath. The setting sun warming my skin all the way to my heart. Everything was in harmony. As I relaxed and felt it all, underneath was a tiny sound.
“….you.”
Again.
“I love you.”
Then I cried. Thank you for loving me when I could not love you back. Now I feel my love for you.
My heart cried back. “I need you as much as you need me, for you are the vessel and I am the love. Together we are whole.”
And that was the first day I loved. And I’ve been doing it ever since…
